Stephanie Longstreth’s passionate and funny food opinions — the cooking hills she will absolutely die on
The hill I will die on breakfast for dinner is one I will plant a flag on with a spatula in one hand and the syrup already sitting on the table: I like breakfast for dinner more than I like breakfast at breakfast time. Same eggs. Same bacon. Same stack of pancakes. Serve it at…
The hill I will die on bologna is one I will plant a flag on with sandy feet and a paper towel for a plate: the best sandwich at the beach is white bread, bologna, and American cheese with a little bit of mayo. That is the whole sandwich. Some mustard too is the only…
The hill I will die on Klondike is one I will plant a flag on right in the middle of the freezer aisle, and I am standing on Klondike Hill proudly: when it comes to ice cream novelties, the chocolate-shell Klondike bar beats the Nestlé Drumstick, and I will not be moved. Now, I am…
The hill I will die on Totino’s is one I will plant a flag on right in the middle of my own freezer, and I refuse to be even a little embarrassed about it: every now and then I make myself a cheap little Totino’s Party Pizza for lunch, I love every crispy bite, and…
The hill I will die on Chick-fil-A sauce is one I will plant a flag on right in the middle of my own dinner table, because this is a divided house and I refuse to surrender: the best sauce for a Chick-fil-A waffle fry is the Original Chick-fil-A Sauce, full stop, and I will die…
The hill I will die on Dole Whip is one I will happily plant a flag on from my own kitchen while the rest of my crew is off at the Magic Kingdom without me: the Original Classic Dole Whip is the best snack at Disney World, full stop, and I will die on this…
The hill I will die on decaf coffee is one I will defend with a hot mug in one hand and the full pot in the other: decaffeinated coffee is an abomination, and it should cease to exist. There it is — I said it, and I meant it before I’d even finished the first…
The hill I will die on foods made for each other is one I will defend with a fork in one hand and a cold glass of milk in the other: some foods were simply made for each other, and what the Lord has put together, let no man pull apart on a plate. Soy…
The hill I will die on chocolate ice cream is one I’ll defend with a spoon in my hand and the freezer door propped open: vanilla ice cream is just the backup singer, and chocolate ice cream is the star of the show. That’s it. That’s the whole position. Chocolate steps up to the microphone,…
The hill I will die on watermelon and corn is one I will happily plant a flag on from a lawn chair, with juice running down to my elbow: if you made me define summer with exactly one fruit and one vegetable, it would be watermelon and corn on the cob, full stop. Cold watermelon…
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