The Hill I Will Die On: Peeps Are a Crime Against Food
The Hill I Will Die On is back, and this time it is personal. We are talking about Peeps — those sugar-coated, marshmallow-adjacent Easter staples that show up every spring without fail, completely uninvited, as far as I am concerned. I have strong feelings about Peeps. Very strong feelings. And since Easter is right around the corner and they are currently occupying entire aisles of every store in America, now feels like exactly the right time to say what needs to be said.
This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. If you purchase through my links, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting StephanieCooksForACrowd.com!
Peeps never should have been invented. They are a crime against food. Perfectly good marshmallows are absolutely offended by their existence, and honestly? Same. Whoever came up with them needs to answer for what they have done.
My feelings are strong on this one. 🐣
Let me be clear about something. I love Easter. I love the holiday, I love the food, I love getting the family together. What I do not love — what I have never loved, what I will go to my grave not loving — is Peeps.
I understand that Peeps have their fans. I understand that every Easter, millions of these little sugar-dusted marshmallow chicks fly off the shelves and end up in Easter baskets across America. I understand all of that. And I am here to tell you that I couldn’t disagree more.
Here is my problem with Peeps. A marshmallow is a perfectly wonderful thing. Soft, pillowy, sweet — a marshmallow has done nothing to deserve what Peeps have done to it. Peeps take a marshmallow and coat it in colored sugar and shape it into a baby chick and somehow manage to make it both too sweet AND flavorless at the same time. That is genuinely impressive in the worst possible way. It takes real talent to ruin a marshmallow that thoroughly.
And the texture. I don’t even want to talk about the texture. Actually I do. It’s wrong. It’s just wrong.
Now, I am not a monster. I believe in balance. I believe in giving credit where credit is due. And so in the spirit of Easter candy fairness, I will share my actual Best Easter Candy pick with you: Cadbury Crème Eggs. Chocolate shell, that mysterious sweet filling, absolutely no apologies — Cadbury Crème Eggs are everything Easter candy should be. They are the hill I will happily live on.
Peeps are the hill I will die on. Disagree with me? Good. That is what the comments are for. What is YOUR Easter candy hill?
More Hills Worth Dying On — Strong Food Opinions from Stephanie
If you have opinions about food — and I know you do — you’re going to fit right in around here. Here are a few more hills I’ve claimed:
- The Hill I Will Die On: Black Licorice Jelly Beans Are the Best Jelly Bean — I know you’re going to come after me for this one. I stand by it completely.
- A Hill I Will Die On: Cottage Cheese — I Refuse — It’s having a moment. I am not having it. Not today, not ever.
- The Hill I Will Die On: Ketchup Does NOT Belong on Eggs — Ketchup has its place. Scrambled eggs is not that place. Fight me.
- The Hill I Will Die On: No Chocolate, No Noodles in My Chili — There is a right way to make chili and several very wrong ways. Let’s discuss.
- The Hill I Will Die On: Candy Corn Is the Most Offensive Halloween Candy — Peeps ruin Easter. Candy corn ruins Halloween. It was first sold as Chicken Feed, and I rest my case.
- Every hill, sorted by the kind of argument — all my strong food opinions in one place, or browse them newest first.
📬 Come to the table on Saturday
Every Saturday morning I send a printable meal plan and full grocery list — the whole week, formatted for the fridge and the grocery run — plus new recipes and whatever’s happening at the Longstreth house. Drop your email below and I’ll save you a seat.
The Hill I Will Die On — About Stephanie Longstreth
Stephanie Longstreth is the home cook, mom, and storyteller behind StephanieCooksForACrowd.com. She cooks for a family of seven in Florida — five kids, two cats, and one husband who appreciates a good meal. Four of her children came home through adoption, and family stories are woven into everything she makes and shares. Find her crowd-friendly recipes, sourdough journey, and real family life on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Pinterest @stephaniecooksforacrowd.