The Hill I Will Die On: No Chocolate, No Noodles in My Chili
The Hill I Will Die On: no chocolate, no noodles in my chili — and I have the backstory to prove it. When Jason and I were a very young preacher and his wife, we packed up and moved to Louisville, Kentucky, full of excitement and ready to make new friends. Someone organized a chili potluck, and y’all, I was SO excited. I brought my best chili. I had high hopes. And when we walked in and I started lifting crockpot lids, every single one had noodles in it. Every. Single. One. I turned to Jason and said, “I thought this was supposed to be a chili potluck???” I was in shock. I think I’m still in shock, honestly. But it got worse. Someone took us to Skyline Chili — which, if you’re not from that region, is a Cincinnati institution — and not only did it have noodles, it also had chocolate. Chocolate. In chili. I cannot condone this. I will not condone this. These are my hills and I am dying on both of them today.
Now listen — I want to be fair here. I know there are people who love Skyline Chili. I know there are entire regions of this country where noodles in chili is just what you do. I have family and friends who would fight me on this. And I love them anyway.
But I have tried both. I gave it a real shot. Noodles in chili, chocolate in chili — I approached both with an open mind and a hopeful fork. And I am here to tell you: no. Just no. Chili is a sacred thing. It has beans (yes, beans, and yes I will also die on THAT hill another day). It has meat. It has spices. It has tomato sauce. It does not need pasta. It does not need a candy bar.
I grew up in a house where chili was chili. You made a pot, you let it simmer low and slow, and you served it with cornbread or crackers and maybe a little shredded cheese on top. That’s it. That’s the recipe. That’s the whole thing.
The noodles situation in Louisville was my first real culture shock as a preacher’s wife — and I say that with all the love in the world for Louisville, Kentucky and every person who lives there. You are wonderful people who make a chili-adjacent dish and call it chili, and we can still be friends. But I’m not changing my position.
And Skyline? Bless your hearts. I truly mean that. You have a passionate fanbase and a loyal following and I respect the hustle. But the chocolate is a hard no from me. Hard. No.
This is The Hill I Will Die On. Both hills, actually. No noodles. No chocolate. Real chili only. Who’s with me — and who’s about to come argue in the comments? Because disagreement is not just welcome around here — it’s encouraged. 😂 What’s YOUR chili hill?
More Hills Worth Dying On — Strong Food Opinions from Stephanie
If you have opinions about food — and I know you do — you’re going to fit right in around here. Here are a few more hills I’ve claimed:
- The Hill I Will Die On: Black Licorice Jelly Beans Are the Best Jelly Bean — I know you’re going to come after me for this one. I stand by it completely.
- A Hill I Will Die On: Cottage Cheese — I Refuse — It’s having a moment. I am not having it. Not today, not ever.
- The Hill I Will Die On: Ketchup Does NOT Belong on Eggs — Ketchup has its place. Scrambled eggs is not that place. Fight me.
- The Hill I Will Die On: Peeps Are a Crime Against Food — Peeps are not food. They are colorful foam. I said what I said.
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The Hill I Will Die On — About Stephanie Longstreth
Stephanie Longstreth is the home cook, mom, and storyteller behind StephanieCooksForACrowd.com. She cooks for a family of seven in Florida — five kids, two cats, and one husband who appreciates a good meal. Four of her children came home through adoption, and family stories are woven into everything she makes and shares. Find her crowd-friendly recipes, sourdough journey, and real family life on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Pinterest @stephaniecooksforacrowd.